When I came down to breakfast Saturday morning, my beautiful spouse was reading the Post and laughing out loud. She had just discovered Santorum’s friend who advises that back in the day the only birth control a girl needed was to put a Bayer aspirin between her knees. She told me that when she was growing up in Japan, mothers made their daughters sleep with their legs crossed to protect their virtue. If girls didn’t do it willingly, their mothers tied their legs in the appropriate position. She was wondering if the aspirin story was something all of us natives knew, and I had to say I had not heard it before and that if it were really well known, then it would be a whole genre like knock-knock and Polish and Irish jokes. When the slightly pregnant girl walked across the high school cafeteria, the guys would be saying “Looks like she dropped her aspirin.” There’d be talk of priests handing out aspirin in the confessional, and when a wife pleaded headache to avoid sex, her husband would ask why she always put the aspirin in the wrong place. If Santorum wins, buy Bayer stock.
The thing about the contraception issue is that people who oppose it are going to have to share the cost of providing it. I guess we don’t get to hear from the people who have to share the cost of delivering all those babies, wanted and unwanted, for the people who don’t use birth control.
On another front I understand Romney is coming out with a positive campaign add. If you vote for him, he will personally baptize you posthumously, even if you’re not Jewish.
Paul Ryan did his thing on the Sunday morning talk shows. He opposed the payroll tax cut, saying it was no substitute for real stimulative measures like cutting taxes for rich folks.
On the gay marriage issue, very much front and center here in Maryland, I remember when it was funny to say “Nobody wants to get married anymore except Catholic priests.” Now I guess it’s only homosexuals. If we value the institution of marriage, we better support this, because no one else is bothering to get married.
There were some hand wringing articles over the weekend about Republicans distorting or cherry picking what the “Founding Fathers” said to support their own agendas. I’m wondering what the Founding Fathers thought about texting while driving.